> Helpful Hint #1
> If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic! Simply
> pour a jug of boiling water down your throat and
> presto! The blockage is almost instantly removed.
>
> Helpful Hint #2
> Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing veggies
> by getting someone else to hold them while you chop
> away!
>
> Helpful Hint #3
> Don't buy expensive 'ribbed' condoms, buy an ordinary
> one and slip a handful of frozen peas inside it before
> you put it on.
>
> Helpful Hint #4
> Putting just the right amount of gin in your goldfish
> bowl makes the fishes' eyes bulge and cause them to
> swim in an amusing manner.
> Re: #4, about 4 ounces/gallon works best:)

> Helpful Hint #5
> An empty aluminium cigar tube filled with angry wasps
> makes a wonderful inexpensive vibrator.
>
> Helpful Hint #6
> Avoid arguments with the missus about lifting the
> toilet seat by simply pissing in the sink.
>
> Helpful Hint #7
> High blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and
> bleed for a while, thus reducing the pressure in your
> veins.
>
> Helpful Hint #8
> A mouse trap placed on top on of your alarm clock will
> prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep.
>
>
> Helpful Hint #9
> If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of
> laxatives. Then you'll be afraid to cough.